Here we go again...

In case you don't already know, Mackenzie will have a permanent playmate coming this September! Yup, that's right, we are adding another one to the bunch. I'll be very honest, this comes to us as a surprise, so I have mixed emotions. Brian is excited and his theory is, "we'll get the baby stage done with sooner." Um, excuse me...who is the one gaining the weight, feeling uncomfortable, delivering the baby, nursing the baby, rocking the baby, getting up at wee hours of the night with the baby, and the list goes on....that's right, ME! So, of course, I'm feeling overwhelmed, to say the least. I have moments where I get excited, but it quickly passes when Mackenzie gives me the smallest little whine. How on earth am I to care for two under two???

Some of my mixed emotions also include guilt. I feel guilty that I'm taking away some one on one attention with Mackenzie. In 6 short months, it will no longer be just her. She will have to share her attention with a baby brother or sister. I know she will adjust, but I can only imagine all the new changes she will incur. The little girl is just now sleeping thru the night consistenly, she's just now learning to sign and follow commands, she's just now gaining independence, she's just now showing her personality, and so much more. Will she regress all these new skills? I know, I know, there are millions of close siblings out there and they all turn out just fine, but it's hard not wonder just how hard it will be for my little girl and of course, me.

Now, for a more optimistic view, how great will it be to watch them grow together? They will be close enough in age where they can do some of the same activities and learn some of life's lessons together. And maybe, just maybe, they will be best of friends. It's not looking so bad afterall, now is it?

I have 6 months to prepare. Wtih Mackenzie, 6months seemed like so long, but this time I can't help but think, only 6 more months? I can do this....I can do this....